Leadership Gold a Lifetime of Leading Learned From a lifetime of Leading

Abstract

My father’s generation believed that leaders should never get too close to the people they lead.“Keep a distance” was a phrase I often heard. Good leaders were supposed to be a little above and apart from those they led. As a result, when I began my leadership journey, I made sure to keep some distance between me and my people. I tried to be close enough to lead them, but far enough away to not be influenced by them. This balancing act immediately created a lot of inner conflict for me. Honestly, I liked being close to the people I led. Plus, I felt that one of my strengths was my ability to connect with people. Both of these factors caused me to fight the instruction I had received to keep a distance. And sure enough, within a few months of accepting my first leadership position, my wife,Margaret, and I began developing close friendships. We were enjoying our work and the people in the organization. Like many leaders early in their career, I knew that I would not stay in this first job forever. It was a good experience, but I was soon ready for bigger challenges. After three years, I resigned to accept a position in Lancaster, Ohio. I’ll never forget the response of most people when they realized we were leaving: “How could you do this after all we have done together?”Many people took my departure personally. I could see they felt hurt. That really bothered me. Instantly, the words of older leaders rang in my ears: “Don’t get too close to your people.” As I left that assignment to take my next leadership position, I promised myself to keep people from getting too close to me.